Racing Against Spoilage

My mother has a type of OCD that makes her an extreme anti-hoarder. I’ve heard her condition called “Obsessive Compulsive Spartanism.” She can’t stand having things and is constantly throwing out or giving away her possessions. She doesn’t have a toaster, a blender, a coffee maker or more than 6 forks (3 are plastic.)

I don’t have this affliction-I have plenty of stuff. In fact, I have muffin pans, loaf pans and even a special pan for madeleines. I have what I need. I even have  some  stuff that I don’t need or know how to use like the mandolin slicer and the food processor. But points for me for getting rid of the chopper thingy that didn’t work and the burnt to bits cookie sheets. I’m trying to strike a balance between what I need and what I have.

At any rate, I’m neither a hoarder or an anti-hoarder. I just hate to see things go to waste. I also hate built-in obsolescence–if I hold on to something I want it to work and last for a long time. My mother gave away my childhood cookie cutters which annoys me every time I think about it. They were vintage, sturdy and would have given me many more hours of cookie joy. 

Obviously I have issues about things going bad. I find it very irritating when you buy something at the grocery store and two days later, the freshness date has expired. This is why I’m always in a race to use something up before it goes bad. I want it to last forever, even though I know it won’t. If I can save something against spoilage and turn it into something delicious then I win!

For this week’s baked good I made an Appley Apple Bread with applesauce and chopped apples. I was able to finally use up that ticking time bomb of freshness that was in my fridge–the applesauce, along with two apples that were well past fruit middle-age  and the two remaining eggs of a carton. 

The bread is delicious and healthy as it has only a little oil, egg whites and agave in it. Yummy!

Count for the Appley Apple Bread 


2 apples

2 eggs

How do I know it’s good? I had put a couple slices in a bag for Andy to take to work and he accused me of being skimpy with the portion. There were two slices!! He also stated up front that he wouldn’t be sharing it with anybody. When Andy gets greedy, I know I’ve succeeded.




About cschoenwald

I'm a writer and performer living in Southern California. I love personal essays and personal storytelling of all kinds. I also have a background in sketch-comedy and improv, so humor is very important to me too.
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