Forced To Frost

I love frosting but often I just can’t be a party to it. Although I believe the whole point to cupcakes is the frosting and that every cupcake  should have 3 to 1 ratio of frosting to cake. I have a tendency to skip the frosting/ icing. I usually  just powder the top of my baked item with confectioners’ sugar and call it delicious!  It’s as if  my cake is a beautiful woman’s face and my frosting is a smattering of shine control powder. Not all women need foundation. Their natural beauty is enough and so it should be with my baked stuff.  Right?

A non-frosted cake can still look delicious and I don’t have to go through the extra effort and extra sugar to provide it. Today I had every intention of not frosting my Applesauce Bars but because of my own ineptitude I was forced to frost.

It was going so well.

Remember how I just had a little of flour left from my recent baking? Well this recipe called for 1/2 a cup of all-purpose flour and 1/2 a cup of whole wheat flour. Perfect. I also had just enough left over dried cranberries ( not leftover from Thanksgiving thank you very much).

We have a Duggar family sized jar of all-natural  applesauce in the refrigerator and that stuff turns bad in a nanosecond. I was thrilled to find a recipe using one whole cup of it!! Hooray and applesauce is a great substitute for oil or butter.

I mix the dry ingredients ( which I always do first, no matter what the recipe says. It’s my least favorite part of baking and I like to get it out of the way just like you would with homework) and then add them the wet and carefully put the sticky batter in a square pan.

I bake it up.

Awhile later as I’m transferring it from one plate to another, almost like a pizza person working their dough into a pie sized piece but without the aerial flipping) I manage to crack my uncut bars down the middle.

Oh shiz.DSCF0321

Now I get the need for frosting-it’s to hide a variety of mistakes. Suddenly I’m frosting these bars!

The recipe calls for milk and walnuts but I have just a little whipping cream and pecans, and use those instead. I’ve taken somebody else’s recipe and made it my own.

What was used up before it went  bad



Whipping cream

Sadly I did not use up the applesauce or the pecans. Frosting Fail!

Upon tasting Andy said ” Now I know why Graham on Master Chef lifts his head while tasting-it makes you savor the taste all the more!” In other words, the verdict is tasty!!



About cschoenwald

I'm a writer and performer living in Southern California. I love personal essays and personal storytelling of all kinds. I also have a background in sketch-comedy and improv, so humor is very important to me too.
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